When most people think of Christmas, it conjures up images of cosy happy families by a log fire, couples in love, joyful children, opening presents and sharing good times with loved ones.

Sadly however this is far from the reality for many people who are alone at Christmas. For them, the hype and marketing around what Christmas “should be” serves only to add to their feelings of depression and isolation.

This is particularly prevalent for those who have recently parted from a relationship, even more so if it was an abusive relationship.

If you are going to be alone this Christmas use the survival tips that follow

First Aid

If you’ve had an invite for Christmas dinner, graciously accept it even if you don’t feel like going, sometimes it is a case of action first and feelings follow.

If not, have whatever you want for dinner, if you want baked beans instead of sprouts, have that!

Don’t stay alone, visit friends or family, if that is not possible, consider volunteering in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.

Play with your pet(s) if you have any.

Get out into nature, go for a walk, preferably where there will be other people around.

Remember, despite the hype it TRULY is just another day, one of 365, it is no different to any other day except for the meaning YOU attach to it.

A special note

For those of you who have recently parted from an abusive partner, my heart goes out to you.

This was always going to be a shit time right?

The advice above is even more important for you!!

For some, the abusive ex has already moved on with a new partner (or more accurately victim) and will be sharing Christmas with them, adding to the heartbreak and sense of injustice.

Know this! No matter how glorious this early idolizing stage appears (remember how it looked when the two of you were first together) abusive partners almost never change and this new relationship will end up like every other abusive relationship, with devaluing, pain and suffering. Ultimately the new partner will either eventually escape (as you have), be discarded (if the abuser finds a new easier target) or remain as an empty shattered shell; so truly know you have got nothing to envy!

If they contact you

Ignore it!

Don’t be sucked in because of “goodwill to all” at this time of year, the only safe way out of an abusive relationship is NO contact!

If they don’t contact you

Do not feel that this is about your unworthiness, as some people do, in fact, it’s the complete opposite.

It is a wonderful sign that your vibration is beyond a level where the abuser feels you can still be used as a target and knows the game is up.

ABOVE ALL

Under no circumstances contact them!

Also, remember it will NOT be like this forever!

Name 3 people you know who have been alone for 5 years or more (or even 3 years) unless it is by choice… Few people can do that, that is the point, people invariably meet someone else and move on in time. Furthermore, know that when you get into another relationship it will have every chance of working, whereas your abusive ex-partner's relationship, in the long term, has about no chance.

Further Help

For more help dealing with loneliness and/or painful break-ups, book a 1-hour assessment consultation here now.