Hypnotherapy for confidence and self-esteem Bournemouth

It’s important to remember that anyone suffering from a lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem was not born this way! We are all born WITH confidence. Babies and toddlers are confident – they cry and they expect to be fed, they explore and they have absolutely no self doubt fear (much to the anxiety and consternation of their parents).

Unfortunately, however, as we move through our lives, particularly our early lives, we begin to hang on to some of the negative emotions from our experiences and the messages we receive, verbally and non-verbally from other key people in our lives (including parents, teachers and indeed other children). It is that which then becomes blocks to our natural flow of confidence.

Lack of confidence and low self-esteem are learned – and what has been learned can be unlearned!

Why is confidence important?

Confidence is important in so many areas of our lives. Often people do not achieve goals within their reach or fulfill their true potential due to a lack of confidence.

 

Many of the patients with confidence issues that we treat in Bournemouth and Dorset outwardly appear the most confident people you could wish to meet. But appearing confident does not necessarily mean someone is confident – there is a world of difference between composure and ease. Many people are able to act confidently (or composed) on the outside, but that does not always reflect what they feel inside.

Often when we look in the mirror, what we see is not reality, nor what others see, but our ‘self-image’. For example, this is how it is possible for someone to be anorexic. When we have low self-esteem, this self-image is often a negative and unrealistic view of ourselves.

Composure is the ability to come across as confident, but without truly feeling at ease on the inside. In a sense, composed people are simply good actors.

Confidence, Composure and Certainty

More people consult us for help with confidence than any other issue we treat. Yet most that approach us for help with this matter are unclear about what confidence actually is or what it involves.

Is it really confidence (or more confidence) you want? Or is it certainty? Or worse still control that you really seek?

Think about it for a moment…. Do you need any confidence in the fact that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow morning? Do you need confidence that when you sail out to sea you will not fall off the edge of the world, or that tomatoes are not poisonous?……. Of course not, it is a certainty!

Confidence only occurs when there is risk or uncertainty. Many people spend an inordinate amount of time striving for “control” and trying to eliminate risk, but as I have said, confidence is not certainty and can only be present when there is a risk, no matter how small.

Confidence and certainty are therefore actually polar opposites and the paradox is that the more one strives for guarantees, control and certainty, the more they rob themselves of the chance of developing any real confidence.

In most of life’s circumstances, certainty is impossible to achieve, so tragically people can become locked into searching and striving for a goal, which sadly, can never be attained.

Confidence is about being comfortable with reasonable risk, it is an attitude of mind, which says, “well, I’m not sure about this, but I’m going to have a go or try anyway, despite the risk”.

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the simple truths of life, we cannot avoid suffering and we cannot avoid risk, but we can learn to accept them and as we accept them, they pass more quickly. For some, that is a scary prospect, but you can learn to be at ease with this principle and live a happy and fulfilling life, just like other people do. Let us help!

What is the difference between confidence, trust and faith?

Answer: Very little! in fact, I would go as far as to say that in my experience there is no difference, they are ultimately all just different words for the same thing.

Faith in yourself, trust in the universe (mother nature, or depending on your beliefs, even god) are great ways of describing what confidence actually is!

Are you confident? Or merely composed?

Another common misconception is for people to think they are confident when in fact they are merely composed.

In the vast majority of these cases, if you were to meet the person concerned in the street and have a brief chat with them, you would undoubtedly think they were the most confident, together and professional people you could wish to meet. This, however, does not necessarily mean they are confident, just composed, and as I have mentioned previously, there is a world of difference between composure and ease. These people are basically just very good actors and actresses. Yet deep down they long to feel the real sense of confidence that everyone mistakenly, thinks that they have.

Imagine a swan, it looks so very graceful, gliding across the water, but take a look beneath the surface and you see will how frantically those webbed feet are swimming!

Many of our patients fall into this category and learn over their time with us that what they thought was confidence was in fact simply composure.

A lack of confidence (even for the very composed) usually underpins other issues such as anxiety and depression.

Truly confident people (in the way that I am defining it here), are few and far between, but most of us know at least one or two.

They are not loud, the life and soul of the party, holding court or “entertaining” everyone, that is usually over compensation and a clear indication of a lack of confidence. Rather, it is the fairly quiet person who always has a light smile on their face, a very relaxed body language, and a “presence” that makes you feel serene by just being around them.

Such people simply do not suffer from anxiety or depression because they have a deep faith and self-trust says whatever life throws at me it will be ok I will figure it.

If you would like to become that person our treatments are extremely effective in helping you develop true core-level self-esteem and confidence. These include the use of hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).

So if elements of this article strike a chord with you, book online now using voucher code INITIALAC for your free one-hour introductory consultation and learn how to be more confident.

 

Body Language and Lack of Self Confidence

Another major factor in developing confidence, which is so often overlooked, is the relationship between our physiology (body) and our psychology (mind). The two are inextricably linked and therefore by changing one, you automatically alter the other. This means that by making small alterations to your body language you start to actually feel more confident. In fact observing, understanding and then adopting confident postures is a major part of becoming more self confident.

Fortunately here at Dolphin Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy Practice, our senior consultant Mr Roberts, (having previously taught with the best in the USA on this subject) has great expertise in this area and where appropriate can coach you on how to leverage simple body language techniques to maximum effect. It is one of the aspects of our treatment program which makes our approach to helping people with low self-esteem somewhat unique and so effective.

How can hypnosis help insecurity?

Building confidence can make you successful in all aspects of your life, whether you’re based in Bournemouth, Dorset or elsewhere.

Self Hypnosis Techniques for feeling confident

Self hypnosis (and yes all hypnosis is in essence self hypnosis) can be an excellent tool for dealing with negative and thoughts and low confidence.

As part of our program, we will usually include guidance on tuition on how to do this to prevent any chance of future relapse in everyday life and for use in specific situations such as public speaking, which can be daunting for anyone.

For proven help with confidence and self-esteem issues, contact Dolphin Hypnotherapy now, or book online using voucher code INITIALAC (Please note that in the event of non-attendance or cancellation with less than 48 hours notice, our standard consultation fee will be charged).

Further Reading about low self esteem and self confidence

High self esteem and self confidence are inextricably linked with good mental health and self love, but what is self-love? For help with what loving yourself actually means, read our series of articles on this very subject here https://www.bournemouthhypnotherapy.co.uk/loving-yourself-part-1/ as you will see it is far more than simply a positive self image.